Between the interpersonal relationships and meme-able one liners, Bravo’s Real Housewives franchise is about money: Who has it and who does not, who is striving for more, and who is at least performing wealth well enough to make you think she is secure in her place in the world.
I’m not a longtime Housewives head, nor am I an expert on the series; I started watching when the newer franchise The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City debuted in 2020 and have since seen some of the Beverly Hills and New York iterations. But I was intrigued when a Rhode Island chapter was announced earlier this year, and with the accents, instantly quotable confessionals, and hints of possible mob activity, it’s become appointment viewing in my household. (Truth be told, it was my husband, Chris, who got me into the series in the first place.)
I don’t like to put too much sociological weight on my reality TV watching; I’m mostly there for the humor and escapism, not moral clarity or major life lessons. But throughout Rhode Island’s first season, I’ve been struck, over and over, by how so much of it is a warning to women everywhere: You need your own money, because there’s no security or true independence without it.
This lesson is hammered home primarily through the cast members Alicia Carmody and Kelsey Swanson, women who are at different life stages but are, in some ways, mirrors of each other, exemplifying the stress and uncertainty countless women have felt when they’ve needed to rely on men to provide for them financially.
Alicia is a mom in her early 40s who was once a hair dresser, but at the start of the season, she appears to no longer work outside of the home. Much of her storyline revolves around her financial insecurity: She and her longtime fiancé (and the father of her daughter) Billy are not married. She has no official stake in any of the businesses he runs, her name is not on the house they live in together, and she claims not to have access to any assets on her own.
She fears that Billy could leave her and their daughter destitute one day, just as Alicia’s father did to her and her mother when she was young. She says she won’t marry Billy because he is pushing a prenup that would leave her with nothing were they to divorce.
“Billy is very much in control of my finances right now, and I hate having to ask him, now that I’m not working, for money,” she said in a confessional. “From what I do remember as a little kid, my dad took everything we had, and we had no money. I get angry all over again.”
Kelsey, meanwhile, was in a long-term relationship with a much older, wealthier man, and the season tracks their breakup and Kelsey’s subsequent quest to find her footing in the world when she’s never had to operate as an independent adult. She moved from her parents’ home to her ex’s mansion at 19. She has never even had to cook or clean for herself. Now in her early 30s, she has no job, no career history to fall back on, and no money of her own.
After the breakup, we learn the ex is paying for her new apartment, her health insurance, and her car insurance. She repeatedly tells the other women that she is entitled to at least that, given they were together for over 10 years. I have no qualms with that logic, but you can imagine it makes her an easy target on the show: The other women may act sympathetic, but they—and large portions of the audience—view her financial situation as gauche, something easily weaponized against her in the many disagreements that transpire.
I imagine many reading this newsletter might have the same takeaway. These women made their choices. What, exactly, did they expect to happen?
But it’s striking to see these women—who want to be wives and mothers—be so vocal and open about their financial insecurities and the deepest worries they harbor about the men they love, especially at a time when the dominant political forces in the country are telling all women to stay home and trust men to take care of everything.
In many ways, these reality stars lived the “traditional” lives conservatives have told them to want, relying on men to earn all of the money for the household while they play, literally and figuratively, housewife. (Notably, though, neither has married their long-term partner.) But they’ve both been forced to reckon with the fact that, despite the many comforts they’ve enjoyed—the beautiful homes, clothes, vacations, and more—letting a man be in control of your livelihood is a pretty terrible deal. Alicia wants assurance and stability for her daughter. Kelsey wants children. Neither are getting their wishes, despite their devotion to their men.
Few of the stars across any of the cities are housewives in the traditional sense of the word. They’re virtually all businesswomen to varying degrees of success, or lawyers, bankers, models, actresses, etc. Many get on the show to further their businesses or personal brands.
But there is another category of these reality stars who don’t work outside the home. And in the broader Housewives universe, fans often discuss who they think joined the show with the intention to use it as a launching pad to divorce her husband, with these financially dependent, noncareer women often falling into that category. (Salt Lake City’s Bronwyn Newport comes to mind.)
I have no insight into Alicia or Kelsey’s psyches, but it seems obvious that both women are keen to start building their own financial security and identities separate from their partners. When you have no income of your own, a Bravo paycheck and the platform it provides would be a pretty appealing plan B.
There is hope. Alicia notches a victory when she presents Billy with a plan to modernize one of his pizza restaurants and asks for a 10% stake in his share of the company, which he agrees to on camera. (Notably, she came up with the initial idea for the restaurant, called Pizza Mamma, which he also acknowledges.) She has a talk with another cast member who works as a wealth manager, and Alicia agrees that she needs to start saving for her own future.
Those are small but meaningful steps. And broadcasting the women’s troubles and attempts to protect themselves financially means women watching will get the same message. You can be a housewife, but you need to watch out for yourself, too.
- Alicia
The Real Housewives in the news
- Another of Alicia’s financial storylines revolves around whether she was actually “homeless” after her father walked out on the family, forcing her and her mother out of her childhood home. IMO, debating the semantics misses the point.
- This Essence article gets at one of the main tensions of the show: The women must perform wealth, but they aren’t always actually that wealthy. It’s led to legal troubles for more than one housewife over the years, including, most famously, Salt Lake City’s Jen Shah, who went to federal prison for financial crimes. (While there, she became friends with Theranos scammer Elizabeth Holmes, which is a whole other discussion.)
- The growing wealth divide within the series is also fascinating to observe. What began as a fly-on-the-wall look at the lives of truly wealthy women in Beverly Hills in 2006 has now morphed into something far more aspirational in nature.
- Throughout Housewives history, there have been numerous instances of not just physical abuse from a romantic partner, but financial abuse and control as well. Not saying that’s going on in Rhode Island, but it’s worth highlighting that multiple women have used the show as a means for escape.
- Writing this led me down a rabbit hole of Housewives-related financial crimes, and the ones committed by Beverly Hills star Erika Girardi’s ex-husband are pretty fascinating. Here’s a breakdown of litigation finance, and how Tom Girardi used it to defraud people he was representing in high-profile lawsuits. (Girardi was the lawyer in the case Erin Brockovich made famous. What a world!)
What else we read (and watched and listen to) this week
- Friend of The Purse Heather Boneparth wrote a lovely newsletter/pep talk about just how hard it is to be a new mom returning to work after maternity leave. It’s so hard! -Lindsey
- Kyla Scanlon went long on what’s really going on with AI and jobs, and it’s an important read. She also provided some solid advice to young job seekers: “The training pipelines that used to build up junior employees have been more or less gutted across most white-collar industries. The single biggest variable in whether your first job teaches you anything is the person who manages you, so as you go through interviews, try to get a sense of what that relationship might be like.” - Alicia
- I read this fun article on how to get off your phone in a physical copy of New York (how quaint!), but it’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. I’m spending way too much time on my phone and calling it “work.” (There’s always something to post on social!) I often think about what it would take to switch to a dumb phone. Has anyone done it successfully? -Lindsey
On our radar
- We launched a podcast with Babylist! Lindsey interviewed so many of our favorite people, including Heather and Doug Boneparth, Corinne Low, and Farnoosh Torabi. The first episode is out now! Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts!
- Friend of The Purse Sarah Shapiro, formerly of our favorite shopping newsletter, Retail Diary, is back with a new newsletter: Private Label! As Sarah describes it: “This is the newsletter for everyone who loves to discuss retail, consumerism, fashion, beauty, shopping, and more.” I've signed up! You should, too! Her first edition is coming out on Tuesday! -Lindsey
- We’ve been putting a lot of time into our Instagram, and we recently surpassed 11,000 followers. Just wanted to celebrate that a little! - Alicia
Classifieds
- Friend of The Purse Priya Malani, founder of Stash Wealth, is hiring a part-time financial advisor to join her modern financial advisory firm that focuses on high-earning 30-somethings. The role is remote with great comp. (No cold calls please!) Here’s the link to apply and there are more details in Priya’s LinkedIn post.
Reach out if you’re interested in sharing job listings with our audience!
Video of the week
It’s 529 Day! Alicia wrote this super helpful guide for Babylist on how to choose the best 529 account. And if you’ve got high school age kids, don’t miss Lindsey’s story on how to talk with them about who’s paying for college.
@the_purse It seems crazy, but our tiny babies will one day be high school graduates. College feels impossibly expensive these days. But small contributions to a 529 over 18 years can help fund your child’s secondary education (and not just tuition but also room & board, trade school, and more). And earnings grow tax free & can be withdrawn tax free when used for qualified expenses. Are you investing in a 529? #529 #kidsandmoney #savingmoney
♬ original sound - the purse
Comment of the week
“The privacy issues with AI are so problematic for me. Until there are laws that protect us, I don’t feel comfortable talking with a chatbot about my finances or my health. Also, as you mentioned, they give so many wrong and bad answers. How can we trust them? How can anyone? Offloading decisions to AI at this point seems lazy to me, half-assing important decisions in one’s life. I also love technology but I really don’t like the idea of giving control over to AI that just doesn’t seem ready for prime time yet.”
- CheyHorn on “AI is coming for your financial plan.”
What else we published on The Purse this week
This is such a fun peek inside a two-week trip in Japan. Take a look!
Ruthie Owens
Alicia went long on what to know about some of the buzziest stocks of the year.
Alicia Adamczyk
We loved this Division of Labor featuring Alex and Mike Magann.
Alicia Adamczyk
Best money we spent this week
- Ken and I went to see Camera Obscura in Jersey City last night, and it was an amazing show. Our regular babysitter was unavailable, and we were scrambling to find someone to fill in. We’ve used Broadway Babysitters a bit lately, and truly I was so impressed by how they sprung into action to secure us a last-minute sitter. It’s not cheap, but having someone else handle the hassle of finding a babysitter while I was busy working feels priceless. (No affiliate link! Just a recommendation for New York City parents who are looking to add to their babysitting roster!) -Lindsey
- I spent most of the past week paying the vet a frankly laughable amount of money, so I didn’t do much else. Good thing I have my emergency fund! - Alicia
