How A Divorced Counselor Lives in Vermont on $85,000 Salary

Here we are! The 50th edition of Home Economics! It feels appropriate that we’re publishing it on tax day, which also happens to be my nanna’s birthday. She would have been 104 this year, and I can say without a doubt that she would have loved Home Economics.

This series has been such a delight to edit for the past two years. Alicia and I are cooking up a longer retrospective piece—coming next week—with lots of fun stats (and a map!), so I won’t get too sentimental here.

I love every edition of Home Economics for a different reason, and in every intro I want to wax poetic about what a badass the writer is. That’s particularly true for this week’s edition, featuring a divorced mom in Vermont who writes very openly about how the breakup of her marriage was a game changer for her—in the best ways. She feels more confident about her finances now than she did when she was married and benefited from a two-income household.

I recently read Belle Burden’s divorce memoir Strangers, where she goes into great detail about the financial stress of her separation. For most of her marriage, Burden had little to no insight into her family’s finances—her husband was the primary earner—and it created a huge problem for her in the divorce. So it was refreshing to speak to today’s writer about the financial renaissance she’s enjoyed post-divorce. I asked her if she had any advice for women pursuing divorce, and she said, “Know your financials and don’t undersell yourself.”

Regardless of your relationship status, this is good advice. Understanding your financial situation is essential. Sure, it can be scary, but it’s also freeing.

A good way to get that clarity? Fill out the Home Economics form! You don’t even have to submit it, but we sure do like it when you do!

Submit your Home Ec!

Now on to the 50th edition of Home Economics. It’s a good one!

Age: 47
Location: Montpelier, Vermont
Relationship status: Single/Divorced

About me: I’m a single mother of a spirited third grader. I live in Central Vermont and work as a mental health counselor for a large hospital. I own a duplex and rent one side to my mom and live on the other side. My child’s father pays child support and lives out of state, so I'm basically a solo parent except one weekend a month.

Income:

Your job title/salary: Mental health counselor, $85,000
Your monthly take-home pay (paycheck amount after taxes and other deductions): $4,500
Rental income: $1,000. I rent out the other side of my duplex to my mom, and her rent is highly subsidized for the neighborhood—fair market rent is around $2,000 a month.
Side hustle: $150 (bi-monthly private practice client)
Child support: $1,750
Total monthly income: $7,400

Account balances:

Checking account balance: $3,000
High-yield savings account balance: $7,000 (3.3%)
Monthly contribution to savings account: $400
Retirement account(s) balance:
- 403(b): $155,000
- IRA $16,500
Monthly contribution to retirement accounts: I contribute $420 per month, and my employer’s contribution is $400.
Investment account balance: N/A
529 account balance: $500
Monthly contribution to 529 account: $0
Emergency fund balance: I consider my high-yield savings account to be my emergency fund.
Son’s savings account: $250

Total in checking, savings, and investment accounts: $182,000

Housing:

Size of your home: I own a duplex. Each unit has two bedrooms, and my unit has one and a half baths, while the rental has one bath. We have a shared basement with laundry and a large finished attic that serves as the guest room/craft studio/TV room. My son and I live on one side, and my mom lives on the other.
Mortgage: $2,460
Current home value: $700,000
Current mortgage balance: $307,418
Year you bought your home: 2019
Price you paid for your home: $371,500
Mortgage interest rate: 2.75% (yay!)
How much was your down payment? $65,000
How long did it take you to save for the down payment? When my ex and I first got married, we bought an apartment building. We lived there for a year, and before our son was born, we bought another house nearby. Right before our divorce, we sold that house and used the equity from that sale to buy the duplex.
Did you have any family help buying your home? My dad gifted me $40,000 to buy our first house (the one we bought after the apartment building). When my ex and I divorced, I got the duplex, we sold the apartment building, and my ex got the equity from the sale.
Home taxes: $723 (monthly, ouch)
Home insurance: $153
Electricity: $140
Water: $125
Cell phone: $165 with an employer discount. The plan covers two phones (for me and my mom), plus payments for each iPhone. I think the balance on the phones is $400. I think once the phones die, I’m going to switch to Mint Mobile or Straight Talk because my carrier keeps increasing the cost of the monthly data plan, and we barely use it.
Internet: My mom pays our internet bill.
Housekeeper: N/A
Gardener: N/A
Trash and recycling: $65
Compost: $40
Plowing: ~$200 a month for four months

Transportation:

Monthly car payment: $1,000. The monthly payment is $625, but I want to pay it off stat due to the high interest rate. I have a 60-month loan at 6.65%. I traded in my old car in 2025 and got about $2,000 that I used toward the down payment on a new-to-me car, which is a 2023 SUV. I financed $28,000, and the balance is $22,000.
Car insurance payment: $125. I pay the insurance for my car and the car my mom drives, which I own outright.
Gas: $350 (premium grade)
Car maintenance: $300
Parking: N/A
Monthly public transportation: N/A
Ride shares (Uber, taxi, etc.): N/A

Children:

Number of children and their ages: I have one kid who’s eight and half years old.
Nanny: N/A
After school: $1,000. This includes two art classes that meet weekly for 10 weeks and a weekly karate class.
School tuition: N/A
Babysitter: I rarely pay for a babysitter because my mom does it for free.
Summer camp: Typically about $3,000 for two different day camps over the summer
Other: ~$50 for kid’s clothes, shoes, and Minecoins!

Debts:

Student loan total balance: $0. I had loans when I graduated from undergrad and grad schools, but paying them off was manageable when I was married and sharing finances with my ex. I probably borrowed $40,000 for undergrad back in the late ’90s. For grad school, I did a work-study program, and I borrowed about $35,000. I signed up for Public Service Student Loan Forgiveness, but I didn’t follow it too closely. Like everyone with federal loans, mine were paused for so long during Covid it almost felt like I didn’t have loans anymore. And then one day in 2024, I got an email saying that my balance of $25,000 was forgiven. I was so surprised! I remember I was on a school field trip when I got the email, and I turned to another dad on the trip and said, “Oh my god, my student loans were forgiven!”
Student loan monthly payment: N/A
Personal loan total balance: N/A
Credit card balance (if you carry a balance month to month): $7,500 on a 0% card. The balance is from spending on things like summer camp and vacation. I took advantage of a cash-back bonus, and since the 0% APR lasts for a year, I’m just paying it off slowly in $500 increments. I’m not using it for any other expenses.
Credit card minimum payment: $500 a month
How much do you spend on your credit card(s) each month? $100

Food:

Groceries: $800. I shop at Shaw’s, our local chain, as well as a food co-op. I cook meals at home most nights. My son gets free lunch at school, so I don’t have to pack for him.
Dining out: $150. We’ll go out to eat on some Friday nights or for lunch on the weekend. I work from home, but once or twice a week, I’ll walk over to the co-op and pick up lunch because it’s a pleasant place to get food from. This is one area of spending I try to cut back and keep in check.

Socializing and Entertainment:

Subscriptions (streaming services, magazines, etc.): $50, which includes HBO Max, Netflix, and PBS Passport.
Memberships (museums, etc.): N/A
Movies, concerts, other events: $50, includes movies with my son, occasional trampoline park days, and bowling with his friends
Entertaining and socializing other: N/A
Hobbies: Very few, if any, that cost money
Travel: We went to Miami Beach for February break and stayed at a nice hotel with a restaurant. Flights, hotel, food, and activities for three days came to $3,000. We also go camping in the summer, and I spend about $300 for camping reservations, parking, and food (all the snacks and s’mores!).

Miscellaneous:

Clothing: ~$30. I work from home mostly, so I don’t need new clothes very often.
Home supplies: $50
Exercise: N/A. I walk the dog a lot to stay active.
Personal and self-care (haircuts, manicures, massages, etc.): I get my hair cut four times a year and spend $55 per visit. My son goes to the barber once or twice a year, and it costs $40 per visit. In the summer, he lets me give him a buzz cut at home with a set of clippers I bought. I probably get two to three mani/pedis a year, for around $300 total, and a massage every couple of months ($100). Twice a year I do a spa day with a friend or my sister, which runs us $150 for the day with lunch.
Pet expenses: $100 for food for the cat and dog; $50 for an occasional dog walker
Pet insurance: N/A
Donations: $50
Tithing: N/A
Events (birthday parties, etc.): I probably spend around $15 a month on gifts for birthday parties my son is invited to. I give him a party each year, and I spend around $250 to $400. His dad never offers to help or throws a party for him, which pisses me off. My friends and I rarely exchange gifts, which I prefer. I like to treat friends to home-cooked meals, ice cream outings (in Vermont, we love “creamees”), and the occasional fancy cocktail.
Other: ~$50 for occasional fancy dinner with a FWB

Insurance:

Life insurance: $80 for 20-year term with a $1 million benefit
Health insurance: $180 per pay period, pretax. Covers me and my son.
FSA contribution: I contribute $100 per pay period, and the full amount for the year will be $2,600. I usually spend the majority of it on eyeglasses for my son and dental care for both of us.
HSA balance: N/A

Total monthly spending (includes annual expenses divided by 12): $9,152

Tell us more:

What are your top financial priorities?
My goal is to have enough for emergencies (ideally around $10,000), home repairs, and retirement.
How do you feel about your current financial situation?
I’m actually happy with my financial situation for a few reasons: I’ve increased my car payment, set up an automatic savings transfer, and cut down on impulse purchases.
How is your financial situation or approach different from 5/10/15 years ago?
I’ve been single for about five years now. Divorce has been a game changer for me. I would recommend it! My marriage afforded me a certain amount of privilege, as my husband made a good salary, and our combined income was close to $200,000. But even though I have less money coming in now, and I receive some child support, I feel more independent and confident about my financial position than when I was married. I think some of it was that when your marriage doesn’t feel secure, it can make you feel financially insecure. And leaving my marriage changed those feelings for me. I’m the only one in charge of my money now, and I like it that way.
What are your money stressors?
Spending on myself with intention feels like a challenge. I also feel a sense of guilt when I accept monetary gifts from my family. My parents have been divorced for 35 years, and like lots of divorced men, my dad’s career took off after his marriage broke up, and he’s sitting on plenty of money in retirement. His third wife is also very financially comfortable, but she’s not in good health. My dad really hates spending money, and when he gives monetary gifts to me and my sister, he does it begrudgingly. I try to use the money toward things like house projects, and he thinks I should save it. I want to tell him, “You saved so I don’t have to!”
Do you expect to receive (or have you received) an inheritance from a family member?
I anticipate inheriting a significant (to me) sum from my dad and possibly from his third wife. Of course, none of this is guaranteed.
Do you receive any financial support from your family?
I receive between $10,000 and $15,000 per year as gifts from my dad, and I could receive more if needed. There’s a certain amount of anxiety attached to this because I feel a lot of judgement from him about how I spend the money. He didn’t pay for college—I think he did that to get back at my mom for leaving him. And I think he’s worried I’ll spend some of the money he gives me on my mom.
Do you financially support any family members beyond yourself and your nuclear family?
My mom basically has nothing. She gets by on her $1,400-a-month Social Security check, and she spends $1,000 of that paying me rent. I bought my mom’s car, subsidize her rent, pay for meals out, and generally help her with unexpected costs. She is my ride-or-die when it comes to emotional support, parenting help, and free child care, not to mention she’s also my go-to landscape and gardening consultant.
How do you and your partner split your finances? How did you decide to go that route?
When we were married, our finances were completely combined, and I had a much higher standard of living. But still, I feel like getting divorced didn’t impact me particularly because I was able to stay in the home that we purchased just before the pandemic. I have rental income and child support, as well as higher earnings than when I was married.
How does being single impact your finances?
I think being single actually makes me feel more empowered than when I was married—or at least I tell myself that. I buy myself a new-to-me but gently used car every two to three years, put my kid in summer and after-school activities, go on vacation, and put money in savings. These all represent my desire to live a full life, along with friendships, community involvement, and a good job.
What are you willing to sacrifice to meet financial goals?
I could sacrifice my pets. I’m kidding! But I’m definitely not getting another dog after this one goes. Seriously, probably the first thing to go would be subscriptions followed by going out to eat.
What are you NOT willing to sacrifice to meet financial goals?
Maintaining my home, buying organic/mostly healthy food, sending my child to summer camp.
Tell us about one financial accomplishment you’re proud of.
I consolidated my retirement accounts and increased my contribution rate after a raise. (That’s two!)
What is one financial goal(s) you still want to achieve?
I’m trying to pay off my car loan in two years rather than six. I’m paying over $300 per month extra toward the loan and could probably up that to $500 if I was really diligent.
What do you regret spending your money on the most?
Travel splurges. The truth is, I don’t actually love going on trips that much given the hassle of flying and the cost of everything! Coming home is the best feeling!
What is one thing you spend money on that makes your life better?
My car, a 2023 SUV that I love to drive because it makes me feel successful and independent. All very superficial, I know, but it’s what I do for myself.

It’s a bit annoying, though, because so many people—neighbors and family members—had a negative opinion about my car that they feel like they need to share with me. But I know I can afford it, and it’s important to me!
What is one thing you spend money on that drives you crazy
Minecoins and crap my child wants but gets tired of quickly, like Legos, Pokémon cards, etc.
Is there anything else you would like to add?
I think the word “divorce” has a strong attachment of pain, grief, and struggles. But for my reality, the only way to reclaim myself was to leave and be single again. I tried for years to stay married to someone with mental health and substance use issues, and I lost myself in the process.

The best advice I can give someone thinking about divorce is to know your financials and not undersell yourself. Ask for the moon in your divorce proceedings. The reality is that women pretty much do everything in a relationship, and men just don’t understand. There’s so much more to life than marriage.