Read an article about salary negotiations, and experts will tell you to always ask for more. After all, they’ll argue, what’s the worst that can happen, you’re told no?
Today’s Work History shows how real life can be a little more complicated than that. The 51-year-old worked in publishing for 30 years, and she details the many times it never felt quite right to ask for more, even when she knows she should have.
“I don’t know if my story sets a good example for your readers: I always had a low salary; I rarely negotiated for more, and when I did, I failed miserably—twice,” she says. “But I hope it reinforces to women that life can be defined and fulfilled in other ways, not just with dollars.”
I appreciated today’s story because it feels reflective of so many of the women I know who aren’t laser-focused on climbing the corporate ladder and earning as much money as possible. Instead, her career complemented her husband’s, and her focus was on her family and personal life.
Still, being part of a two-income household for so many years enabled her to save a fair amount for retirement, and even though she and her husband now plan to get divorced, she’s not necessarily worried about the future. She notes she might seem like a tradwife—that inescapable and inaccurate politically charged buzzword for women who don’t work outside the home—but her story is a good reminder why every wife needs money of their own, even if they don’t want to be a Career Woman.
Work History is our new series detailing women’s salary and career trajectories, and the hard-won advice and insights they’ve picked up along the way. The first issue featured a 42-year-old comms leader earning $250k a year. If you’d like to submit your own anonymous Work History, you can do so here.
The responses below have been lightly edited and condensed.
Age: 51
Location: Austin, Texas
Current industry and job title: Magazine distribution, recently unemployed
Career length: 30 years
First salary: $24,500 in 1997
Current salary: $0
Biggest salary jump and reason for the jump?
My biggest salary jump was $14,000, from $21,000 to $35,000, back in 1999 due to a promotion.
Biggest salary drop and reason for the drop?
My salary fell from $48,000 to $0 due to a layoff in September 2025. Four days before my 51st birthday, two weeks shy of my 21st anniversary with the company, and two weeks after my daughter moved into her college dorm. Talk about perfect timing!
It was both expected and unexpected. I worked long enough in the print industry to experience the declining trends, and I survived countless rounds of layoffs. It was only a matter of time before my name was called.
My layoff coincided with a pivotal moment in my life: My daughter left the family nest, I was preparing to start divorce proceedings with my husband, and I was getting ready to move into my own apartment. My lifestyle was going to change, but ironically, my layoff has caused it to remain the same.
Both my husband and I were laid off last year from our respective jobs, we are both still living in the same family house (as roommates), and both of us are remaining legally married until we’re employed again and can begin divorce proceedings.
Biggest salary or pay-related regret?
It’s hard to say if it’s a regret yet, but I forfeited experimental career opportunities to stay with an “easy” low-paying job in a declining, yet steady, industry for 21 years to raise my family and daughter.
Now that my daughter is a college freshman and I am getting a divorce (by my choice), other job interviewers have looked at my long job history as a drawback. As I am learning now while switching careers, not many interviewers are seeking an experienced professional in print media.
Did your salary throughout your career seem sufficient for your and your family’s needs?
No. My husband’s higher salary sustained our needs and afforded our lifestyle. My job was the backup to provide benefits in case my husband was ever laid off. I provided for my family’s needs in non-financial ways. I always joke that I had two full-time jobs: one with an official W-2 form and one without.
My career was never about the salary or the job title. It was about retaining my sense of self while also being somebody’s wife and somebody’s mother. I know this sounds very “tradwife.” But when you get married and/ or become a parent, the world outside of work knows you as “Mrs. (blank)” or “(blank)’s wife” or “(blank)’s mom.” Your identity gets lost.
With hindsight, is there anything you would have done differently at any stage in your career/salary journey if you could go back in time?
Counteroffer for a higher salary at the start of a new job or position. The worst thing to happen is they would say “no.” My job reassignments coincidentally always happened during a pivotal life stage: Relocating to a new city, having a new mortgage, having a baby, surviving a layoff (again), etc. I wasn’t confident in asking for more money, especially when company management made the employees feel fortunate to be employed.
But I would advise having the confidence to ask for more. Not just in your professional life, but in your personal life as well. After doing this exercise, I saw how I was not confident in advocating for myself for so many years. With all of the salary freezes, I probably should have left the publishing industry and started a new job elsewhere, even if it meant disrupting my family’s lifestyle. But I saw it as selfish and rude. (But I think women, as a whole, experience this.)
And I would try to max out my 401(k) contributions a lot earlier in my career. I could have afforded it, but I was too afraid to be separated from my funds until retirement.
Anything else you’d like to share?
Find good people to work for and work with. A significant reason why I stayed in these jobs for so long (probably longer than necessary) was because I genuinely enjoyed my managers and colleagues. They respected my work-life balance and trusted me with my job responsibilities. And they didn’t make the job a living hell. Twenty-seven years later, I consider my former colleagues from New York among my closest friends.
Also, start contributing to your 401(k) on day one of work. (And if you are a stay-at-home parent, contribute to an IRA.) I started off with $25 contributions per paycheck at my first job, and then consistently contributed and steadily increased those over the years, and I was able to grow my 401(k) to $1.8 million today (plus a pension from my long-time employer). Again, my husband’s salary throughout the years definitely influenced my ability to save.
You never know how your life will pan out. But you do know that one day you will be old and retire. Without my 401(k), I would not be as confident heading into my divorce and future solo life.
Work History
First job: Events coordinator at nonprofit trade association
Starting salary: $24,000
Years: 1997–1999
In this role, I managed the guest registration process and all the pre- and post-work involved with monthly conferences in New York City. During the week of a conference, I would easily work 50+ hours a week.
I did not negotiate my salary. I was thankful to be hired for my first full-time, salaried position after college graduation. I worked here for approximately one-and-a-half years, until I was laid off when my boss left the organization.
What I learned: How to be an “adult.”
Second job: Circulation analyst and advertising production coordinator at major publishing firm
Starting salary: $35,000
Years: 1999–2001
As a circulation analyst for the international editions of a major newspaper, I helped U.S.-based subscribers with issues and inquiries regarding their subscriptions. As an advertising production coordinator for that same international edition, I processed orders for the ads, instructed their placement within the newspaper issue, and coordinated the delivery of production materials to the printing plant.
Again, I did not negotiate. I was honored to work for the company (a big time media publisher in New York) and to have a better-paying job after a layoff. Plus, I was getting married and I had a wedding to pay for.
What I learned: Whenever I made a mistake (and I made SO many), I would admit, apologize, and ask for forgiveness from the people they affected.
Third job: Sales commission analyst at major publishing firm
Starting salary: $40,000
Departing salary: $42,000
Years: 2001–2004
My previous position was eliminated due to the closure of the international edition of the paper, and I was promoted to a sales commission analyst within the same company. In this role, I recorded, maintained, and calculated the sales commissions for all of the paper’s ad sales reps worldwide.
I did not negotiate. At the start of this tenure, I was the only employee spared from my previous division, so I was thankful to even have a job. For the first two years, I got nothing more than cost-of-living increases. During my third year, the company implemented a pay freeze to offset declining revenues.
I hated the sweat-shop atmosphere of the company and the jerks I worked for. Fed up with NYC living, my husband and I quit our jobs and randomly decided to relocate to Charlotte, North Carolina.
Fourth job: Circulation analyst at major publishing firm
Starting salary: $26,000
Departing salary: $0
Years: 2004–2005
Now working in Charlotte, I authorized the branding of various promotional materials, ordered mailing lists to gain subscribers, and analyzed subscriber retention data.
HR explained the lower salary as a reflection of the lower cost of living in Charlotte compared to NYC, but I was able to negotiate my offer up to $26,000 from $24,000 by emphasizing my prior work experience. Considering how my husband and I relocated to Charlotte without any prospects or jobs lined up, I felt fortunate to find this full-time job rather quickly.
I was laid off the next year when the circulation department was relocated to the company’s headquarters in NYC. Fortunately, my husband found a job in Charlotte that paid significantly more than mine. He kept us afloat while I was unemployed.
Fifth job: Magazine category sales and merchandising analyst at major publishing firm
Starting salary: $30,000
Departing salary: $45,000
Years: 2005–2019
In this role, I analyzed newsstand sales for retailers and for the various magazines the company published.
After being laid off six months prior, I was rehired by the same company. I did not negotiate my salary; I was just thankful they rehired me. I had a mortgage and a baby to consider, plus, during this period, the company (and the industry as a whole) was hemorrhaging money.
Two years in, I received a $4,000 pay raise. By 2014, my salary gradually increased to $45,000, mainly through cost-of-living increases. And then in 2015, the company imposed a salary freeze.
In 2012, my family and I relocated to Austin, Texas, for my husband’s new job. My manager in Charlotte was generous to allow me to keep my job and benefits and work from home in Texas. This provided me with a great work-life balance, which was worth more than my salary.
What I learned: I made my family my priority and not my job. I was fortunate that my husband’s high salary sustained us for many years. Despite my low salary and declining job responsibilities, I kept this job because: 1) I proudly contributed to the household income. And 2) I was able to keep my individual identity while also being my husband’s wife and my daughter’s mother.
Sixth job: Magazine newsstand sales and distribution analyst at major publishing firm
Starting salary: $45,000
Departing salary: $45,000
Years: 2019–2024
I provided merchandising instructions to merchandisers and retailers on behalf of the magazine publishers. I also analyzed magazine newsstand sales for a national bookstore chain.
My previous position was eliminated, and I was reassigned to this new position at the same company. I still worked from home. Then COVID hit and decimated newsstand magazine sales. In 2023, the CEO of the division I worked in was fired. His departing last words in his final Zoom staff meeting: “If you want to keep your jobs, keep your head down and do what you’re told.” Yikes!
What I learned: There is a right time and place to request a higher salary or a better job position. And this was not it! If I wanted a higher salary, I would have to leave my job and find a new one that would dominate my life, alter my comfortable lifestyle, and cause friction within my family. I didn’t feel like it was worth it.
Seventh job: Data specialist in the AI division at major publishing firm
Starting salary: $48,000
Departing salary: $0
Years: 2025
I organized and verified historical sales data to build an AI model that would forecast sales trends. I also carried the responsibilities from the previous job to this one.
A new division was created, and I was unwillingly reassigned to this position. With this new job, I saw it as an opportunity to finally break my salary freeze. I explained to my new manager how my circa-2015 salary did not reflect current standards and that I was also carrying the responsibilities for two jobs. And I honestly told him that I needed a pay increase for my daughter’s college tuition or else I would need to seek a new job. He granted me a “generous” $3,000 pay increase, and I made my highest-ever salary, $48,000.
Unfortunately, I got laid off six months later, two weeks shy of my 21-year anniversary with the company (womp, womp).
What I learned: I still question if my honesty and request for a salary increase resulted in my elimination. If it did, then this was not the company, nor the manager, I wanted to work for.
I’m not really looking for a new job right now. Because I worked at the same company for 20 years, I received a four-month severance package. As soon as I was laid off, I took two extended-stay solo international trips. I had the best time ever!
I’m currently taking continuing education classes at the local community college in bookkeeping and accounting. For 25 years, I was counting money professionally. I want to use that same skill but apply it to other industries (definitely not publishing).
I’ll be 52 years old this year. I have fewer years ahead of me than behind me. I’m not as serious or ambitious, by my standards, as I was in my 20s, and that’s OK. I’m looking to remain employed (full time with benefits) until I can retire in 10 to 12 years.
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