Apologies to those who aren’t fans of this time of year, but I couldn’t be happier for the start of the holiday season. Christmas tree vendors are beginning to line the New York City streets. Restaurants and apartment buildings are decked out in fairy lights. And Mariah is making her annual return to the airwaves.
For as much of a curmudgeon as I can be the rest of the year, I unabashedly love the holidays and most everything that comes with them. Each year, I look forward to all of the meals, presents, parties, decor, and, yes, the songs. This weekend, I plan to start getting into the holiday spirit by making the trending paper chain garlands to string around our apartment. Sure, it’s not even Thanksgiving yet, but a little whimsy never hurt anyone.
My holiday season is looking a little different from years past for a few reasons. I’m hosting a Christmas Eve dinner, one of my favorite family traditions, for the first time. I’m already planning out what to serve, how to fit everyone in our dining-slash-living room, and what the place settings will look like. The pressure is on!
At the same time, I’m grappling with how my discretionary income has taken a big hit, which means I won’t be traveling home for Thanksgiving or buying tons of presents this year.
Not shelling out a ton for gifts might be a blessing in disguise. As much as I love the holidays, the consumerism of it all does drive me a little mad. I’m fine with Christmas songs playing a little early on the radio, less so with holiday sales emails creeping into my inbox the day after Halloween. (Seriously, why is Zoom sending me a Black Friday special?!)
Already, my social media algorithms are filled with videos of people reading through multi-thousand-dollar wishlists from their children or siblings. I don’t begrudge anyone buying gifts for their loved ones—my parents certainly spoiled my sister and me growing up—but the performativity of it makes me uncomfortable.
There’s been a sort of meta-commentary happening on sites like Substack and TikTok over the past few weeks about the glut of holiday gift guides from influencers, brands, and traditional publications alike. Some people point out we probably don’t need one from every single person with a social media account, which, in turn, has led to a backlash to the backlash. I understand not wanting to see the same “Amazon finds” over and over, but I generally enjoy when experts in a certain field suggest a few tried-and-true gifts that likely were not on your radar, like a professional chef making recommendations for the home chef on your list. The latter can help you be a more thoughtful gift giver, something I’m personally striving for.
Lindsey and I have had many conversations over the years about what it means to be a conscious consumer and how we can make changes in our own lives to be more thoughtful. This year, the general economic uncertainty and my own personal finances are forcing me to take all of that extra seriously and focus on what really matters. Being there for family and friends, yes; helping out my community, absolutely; buying presents because I feel I have to, no. My unease with shopping right now isn’t abating, making my annual boycott of Black Friday sales a little easier.
Still, I don’t have the materials on hand to make those garlands, so I’m definitely hitting up a craft store this weekend. And I’ll be purchasing a full-sized Christmas tree as soon as they’re available in my neighborhood. I might be cutting back, but I’m no Grinch.
How are you balancing all the financial demands of the holiday season? Anything you’re trying to cut back on this year? Anything you won’t give up because it’s a holiday essential?
- Alicia
Just a note: With the holiday, we won’t be publishing a Weekly Roundup next Friday. Drop all of your Thanksgiving-related thoughts in the comments below! We hope you all have a wonderful holiday! And don’t forget, everyone is allowed to hide in the bathroom for a bit if you need a break from the madness!
The Holidays in the News:
- The New York Times has a funny-ish list of 61 Thanksgiving hot takes. One of my favorites: “Candles are essential for the mood—but they must be unscented.” I love candles but cannot stand the scents, especially with all the food! (Lindsey co-signs this!)
- I was shocked the first time I learned people hate the Thanksgiving turkey. Maybe my mom’s was just really good, or maybe I don’t have a sophisticated palate. I’m not sure, but I love it!
- Even if I’m not shopping on Black Friday, plenty of people are: 73% of merchants say Black Friday, Cyber Monday, and “the broader festive shopping period” account for over 20% of average annual revenue, according to Vogue Business.
- Erin Boyle has a helpful guide on how to talk to family members about more conscious gift giving. And over at Living Small, Laura Fenton has a piece on how to be a minimalist while giving your kids a wonderful holiday season.
- Sales are up at Walmart, signaling that more people are concerned with affordability amid economic uncertainty as we head into the holiday season.
What Else We’re Talking About
- There used to be a liquidation store by my apartment, and some of my friends loved to go there to bargain hunt for toys for kids’ birthdays. I never went because seeing all those pallets of rejected merchandise stresses me out. Needless to say, I loved this story in Wirecutter, where editor Annemarie Conte convinced The New York Times to spend close to $2,000 to buy their own mystery palette. It’s worth a read before you start buying a bunch of stuff online for holiday gifts! -Lindsey
- I’ve been listening to Quit: The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away by Annie Duke, and it has a lot of good insight into why we should all be giving up a little more easily. -Alicia
- This is sort of off-topic, but I’m an unabashed lover of all media gossip, and I haven’t been able to look away from the slow-moving train wreck that is the Olivia Nuzzi/RFK Jr. drama. I have lots of feelings, and I thought this piece by Marisa Kabas in The Handbasket was very interesting! -Lindsey
- This story from The Wall Street Journal reminded me that I really need to rollover my old 401(k)! -Alicia
On Our Radar
A big thank-you to Pauline of the newsletter Money Feelings for including me in this fun (and infuriating) roundup of women personal finance experts sharing our “favorite” mansplaining stories. -Lindsey
I’m looking forward to seeing the second Wicked installment this weekend, bad reviews notwithstanding. -Alicia
The birthday sale is still on! Until November 30, you can get an annual subscription for $45.60 (usually it’s $80), and we’ll be donating $5 from every new annual subscription to a food bank. Thank you to everyone who has already upgraded!
Stat of the Week
Comment of the Week
“I traveled the world for work for 10 years and learned about cultures that honor multigenerational homes and connectedness. Where kicking kids out at 18 or the burdens of a capitalist country are not something that exists.”
-Tricia on Lindsey’s essay “Why do we get so mad about parents supporting their adult children?” (The comments on this story were amazing. We really appreciate everyone who chimed in with their perspective!)
Why do we get so mad about parents supporting their adult children?Yesterday was my birthday (woo-hoo!), and so this is just a little reminder that we’re having a big sale on annual subscriptions right now for my birthday month. Until November 30, you can get an annual subscription for $45.60 (usually it’s $80), and we’ll be donating $5 from every new annual subscription to a food bank. Thank you to everyone who has al…
Lindsey Stanberry
Best Money We Spent This Week
- I spent Wednesday with Lindsey in Brooklyn, planning for the future of The Purse! After our meetings/brainstorming sesh, I got an early dinner with a good friend and made it home by 8 p.m. A perfect day! ~$80 - Alicia
- My birthday was on Tuesday, and as I told my friends, having a weekday birthday when you’re a working mom in your 40s is just kind of…meh… But I did swing by one of my favorite bakeries to pick up some stupidly expensive cookies because everyone needs a birthday treat! $15 -Lindsey
