Everyone knows they should negotiate their salaries when they’re accepting a job or internal promotion. But when it comes to actually doing it, well, things get a little more complicated.
We’ve received so many submissions to Work History, our new series about women’s salary and career trajectories, which is really exciting. Because we’re not publishing them super often (at least not yet), I wanted to share some of the pearls of wisdom real women have shared so far, from the best salary-related advice they’ve received to their biggest pay regrets. We can all learn from their wins and losses.
If you’re interested in being featured in a future edition of Work History, fill out this form! And if you’d like to contribute your own tips and tricks (and maybe scripts?), you can do so in the comments.
Alicia Adamczyk
Play your own game
“I asked for parity and was told that the only way the head of my department could get his boss to approve a raise was to go out and get a job offer at a higher salary; they'd then try to match it. I didn't want to play that game, so I went out, got a job offer at a higher salary, and left.”
- 39-year-old nonprofit development director in Washington, D.C.
Collect the necessary data
“It's been helpful to me to talk openly about salary with colleagues at my institution and beyond. I’ve also found it helpful to ask more senior folks about how much they're paid for consulting and giving invited talks. In summary: Data is good.”
- 42-year-old associate professor in New Jersey
“Negotiation doesn’t need to be scary and is good practice for the type of self-advocacy you’ll need to do at every stage of your career. Do your research, ask questions, and know how much is enough for the life you’re trying to live.”
- 36-year-old philanthropy associate director in Chicago
“Call a male peer, give him the job description, and ask what he’d ask for. Add $10k and send. Don’t ask, don’t get.”
- 43-year-old public relations principal in Detroit
Ask for more than money
“Always ask for more money, yes, but also always ask for the extra stuff: a sign on bonus (even if it’s just $5k), more stock options, extra learning-and-development budget, the fancy office chair, or the extra PTO. Often, hiring managers and HR teams have much more leeway to provide these extras. I even applied this recently when buying a new car. They wouldn't go lower on the price, but they would throw in a set of snow tires and a roof rack, which was a value of $1,500 total.”
- 32-year-old operations manager in Vermont
“If you don’t get the raise, use that as motivation to find a company that does understand your value and will compensate you for what you deserve. Or if they say that they aren’t in a position to pay you more but would like to discuss other ways to compensate you, such as increased PTO or more flexibility in your schedule, that could be even more meaningful depending on other factors in your life.”
- 49-year-old executive director at a law firm in Seattle
“I regret not advocating for RSUs over yearly cash bonuses. I love my job and want to stay long-term, so I regret not asking for RSUs when I joined since they’d likely be worth much more now.”
- 25-year-old public relations manager at a tech company in Maryland
Play the long game
“I’ve been willing to accept promotions that didn’t come with a pay bump, or a very small one, in the past when I knew that the title was going to be the stepping stone to significantly increasing my income at the next job.”
- 35-year-old social media analyst in Ohio
Early bird gets the worm
“There are so many great resources out there like Glassdoor, Salary.com, and even just AI tools that help people understand their value in the market. It is easier than ever to know whether you are truly underpaid in your role, and, if so, you need to start fighting for yourself far before year-end comp planning because by then the raises have already been allocated, and you’ve missed the boat. I recommend starting at mid-year with manager discussions.”
- 31-year-old senior vice president in New York
Aim high
“Start high and assume negotiating is part of it. You never get what you don’t ask for.”
- 39-year-old strategist in Utah
“Always answer at the highest point of the [salary] range in an interview process. They don't know how much you're being paid, and what value you provide.”
- 28-year-old public relations senior account supervisor in New York
Do the math
“Be very wary of accepting a job for only a $10 to $20k bump. That's saying a lot for those making under six figures, I know, but that number after taxes can easily be nonexistent depending on your employment circumstances. Healthcare subsidies, 401(k) matches, the number of days you have to be in office and any associated child or pet care, amount of travel expected, etc. … Would you start a completely new job if that bump ends up only netting $2,000 or so over a year?”
- 33-year-old creative director in New York
Stand your ground
“Don't! Be! Afraid! To! Walk! Away! It’s advice everyone hears, but it’s genuinely the most valuable salary-related guidance I’ve received. Being confident in your skills and self-worth is essential—and if an offer or role doesn’t reflect that, you have to be willing to step back. More often than not, those moments become important red flags and valuable lessons.”
- 28-year-old senior public relations specialist in Boston
