It feels impossible to write this newsletter without talking about the wildfires that are decimating whole neighborhoods in Los Angeles. I have many friends, acquaintances, and former Refinery29 colleagues who live in L.A, and I have spent so much time over the last week on Instagram watching their stories in horror, sending DMs to check in, and offering to help however I can. Like many non-Californians, I feel completely helpless and totally heartbroken. When you’re 3,000 miles away, how can you really help?
Of course, there are countless ways to pitch in, and there are so many amazing people working hard to highlight these causes. Rachel Davies, who writes the newsletter Personal Spaces, put together a massive roundup of GoFundMe campaigns to help families who have lost everything. And the two largest African American law firms in California have set up a GoFundMe campaign specifically to help underserved Black communities impacted by the Eaton fire. You can donate to the California ASPCA, the Mutual Aid L.A. Network, and the Los Angeles-based Anti-Recidivism Coalition, which is raising money to support the incarcerated firefighters who are battling the blaze. Erika and I want to help, too, and so The Purse is donating $200 to Baby2Baby, an L.A. nonprofit supporting families with emergency supplies like diapers and formula.
In these moments of tragedy, I’m always in awe of how people rally to support their friends and neighbors, as well as complete strangers. I want to believe that our instinct is to help. But it can also be exhausting living in a wealthy society with so few safety nets in a time that seems to be plagued by one (climate-related) natural disaster after another. In the last six months, we have stood by and watched two epic hurricanes destroy communities in Florida and North Carolina, and now we are bearing witness to wildfires raging in Southern California. It’s hard not to feel deep despair for the state of our planet.
I also keep thinking about a headline I read somewhere about the importance of building community with your neighbors before you face a natural disaster. The sad truth is that while Angelenos are facing a highly publicized crisis, there are thousands of other Americans across the U.S. who are in need. “Local activism" was on the “In” column of my 2025 “In/Out List.” I may feel helpless watching the fires rage in California, but there are acts of service I could be performing in my own community, right now, today, that would make a big difference. Making sandwiches for the local homeless shelter, donating kids’ clothing to Little Essentials, or dropping off books at Brooklyn Book Bodega.
Instead of doomscrolling, we’d all be better off putting down our phones and engaging more with our communities. Let’s not wait until a disaster comes to our front doors to care for one another.
Now on a completely different note, I’m excited for today’s Home Economics—the 20th edition. It’s hard to believe it’s nearly been a year since I published the first one! Interviewing women for this series is truly one of the highlights of my job, and I love getting to share their stories.
I’m also actively looking for new Home Economics entries. You can fill out the form here.
One note about today’s entry: It was originally submitted in spring 2024. The writer and I decided that she would not update the entry to reflect her current circumstances, so you’ll see some references to dates that might seem off. We’ve provided a bit of an update at the end of the piece! Worth a read to the end, IMO!
Age: 38
Location: San Francisco
Relationship status: Married
Age of partner: 39
About me: I live in the Bay Area, and I am the breadwinning mom of two little kids. I’ve been doing everything “right” financially, and yet I still feel like my husband and I are barely getting by. Earlier this month, I started a new, higher paying full-time job after years of consulting, and my money anxiety is slowly dissipating.
Income:
- Your job title/salary: Head of corporate development, base pay $300,000 and annual bonus $300,000 (all cash)
- Partner’s job title/salary: Manager, $80,000
- Your monthly take-home pay (paycheck amount after taxes and other deductions): $12,600
- Partner’s monthly take-home pay (paycheck amount after taxes and other deductions): $4,000
- Freelance income: I’m still making $12,000 a month as a consultant, but that ends this month (April).
- Total monthly income: ~$16,600
