Hi! We have a lot of new readers this week thanks to the very nice shoutout in Ann Friedman’s newsletter! (Thank you, Ann!) Today’s newsletter is a paid edition of The Purse’s signature series Home Economics. If you’re new to The Purse, and you’re not sure you’re ready to upgrade, you can check out past editions here.
We are running a sale on annual subscriptions through November 30. Upgrade now for just $45.60 (it’s usually $80)—plus we’re donating $5 of every new annual subscription to a food bank.
And one more reminder before I get into today’s edition: We won’t be running a weekly roundup this Friday. Alicia and I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving! We are so grateful for our readers!
Over the past couple of years, it feels like my social media algorithm has been delivering me a steady stream of divorce content. There are movies, memoirs, TV shows, albums, and so many newsletter essays. Most of the storylines have been positive—it seems like the general vibe is Nicole Kidman in the parking lot after her divorce from Tom Cruise.
I’ll admit, I like this reframing of divorce as an empowering event for a woman, one that allows her to take back her life and live it on her own terms. Even in my personal life, the few women I know who have split from their husbands seem happier than ever. As one friend joked, “She looks good—she lost 180 pounds of deadweight over the summer.”
But there’s one aspect of divorce that generally sucks for pretty much everyone involved: the financial expense. The average divorce costs between $15,000 and $20,000, according to the National Association of Divorce Professionals, and a contested divorce can cost even more. But it’s not just that legal fees are expensive—there are also the long-term financial implications. There’s shockingly little recent research to show how divorce impacts a woman’s finances, but studies from the 2010s suggest that women can see a decline in income anywhere between 20 and 40% post divorce.
In the case of today’s Home Economics, the writer, a doctor from the Pacific Northwest, has seen her income stay steady post divorce, but her long-term savings took a huge hit. As part of the settlement, she had to give her ex nearly half the money in her retirement accounts, plus pay him spousal support for the next four years.
At 44, she has time to rebuild her savings, and as she shares, she also has the benefit of receiving some financial support from her parents. But there’s no denying how costly this divorce was for her.
In some cases, it may feel impossible to leave a bad marriage because of the potential financial impact. If you (or a friend or loved one) find yourself in such a situation, I highly recommend the organization Savvy Ladies, which provides free financial advice for women. My Next Chapter is another great resource—it’s a new community for people at any stage in their divorce.
If you want to share your story with Purse readers, you can fill out the Home Economics form here.
Age: 44
Location: Small town north of Seattle, Washington
Relationship status: Divorced
About me: I’m a doctor and single mom to two school-aged kids. I recently got divorced, and I lost half my retirement savings to my ex as a result. I’m in the process of trying to rebuild those long-term savings, but it’s difficult, since I have to pay him spousal support for the next four years.
Income:
- Your job title/salary: Family physician, $240,000
- Your monthly take-home pay (paycheck amount after taxes and other deductions): $12,400
- Total monthly income: $12,400
