This week, I took a little road trip from Brooklyn to Bedford, NY, to see my old friend Fran Hauser and visit her new bookstore, Bedford Books. I first met Fran when I worked at Refinery29, and she was publishing her book The Myth of The Nice Girl. She wrote a column for the Work and Money section where she would answer women’s career questions, and then we would ask them to put that advice into action and report back to us on the outcome.
I took the trip because I wanted to see the bookstore. (It’s gorgeous! If you’re in the area, you should definitely stop by!) But somewhat selfishly, I was also hoping Fran could give me feedback on an idea I’ve been kicking around. We had a wonderful visit, and she had some helpful thoughts on the idea and suggestions of people I might want to talk to about it further.
Driving home, though, it dawned on me that I keep reaching out to more and more people to get their feedback on this idea, and I should JUST GO EXECUTE THE DAMN THING. Why am I looking for everyone to give me their blessing? If I spent half as much time working on the project and not meeting everyone and their mother for a coffee, I might actually make some progress toward this new goal. Of course, the planning stage of most projects is easier (and more fun?) than the execution stage, when things get scarier because the chance of failure increases. But you can’t stay in the planning phase forever. (Or you can, but then what do you have to show for it?)
I think I had this revelation at this moment because this week, I’ve also been editing this piece on decision-making mistakes written by Nell Wulfhart, who’s built a career as a decision coach. She helps people make big and small decisions in a single session. Nell’s helped people decide whether to take a job offer, buy a house, move abroad, get divorced, get married, have kids, drop out of med school, get a tattoo removed, and start a podcast. She’s helped people decide what novel to write and what color to paint their kitchen. She’s even helped people pick baby names!
I once had a boss tell me I was indecisive and not good at taking action, which I felt was a very unfair assessment of my skills. It’s true, though, that I like to think things over for a while before I execute. But eventually, you need to shit or get off the pot, as they say. And if you’re really, really stuck, you should call Nell. But first, I highly recommend reading her list of seven mistakes she sees people make when it comes time to tackle a hard decision. I can relate to mistakes number two, four, and five. What about you?
